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Once a girl was drinking coke. She suddenly discovered a fly in her drink
and took it out from the coke.
The fly gave birth to a baby fly and died. The baby fly opened it's eyes
looked at the girl and said ,'maaa!'.
The girl asked the baby fly,'main tumhari maa nahin hoon phir tu mujhe kyon
maa bulati hai?'
The fly replied,'kyon kai maine tumhari coke se janam liya hai.' |
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A Pakistani was sitting with an Indian and Malaysianin Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled barrel of beer, when all of a
sudden Saudi police entered and arrested them. But, as it was a nationalholiday, the Sheikh decided they should be released after receiving20 lashes of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh suddenly said:
"I allow each of you one wish before your whipping."
So the Malaysian guy thought for a while and then
said: "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through.
The Indian guy, watching the scene, said: "Please fix two pillows on my back". But even two pillows could only take 10
lashes before the whip went through again. Sheikh turned to Pakistani and said: "You are from a brother country, so you can have 2 wishes!"
"Thank you, Most Royal and Merciful Highness", the Pakistani replies.
"My first wish is: I would like to have 40 lashes."
"If you so desire", the Sheikh replies with questioning look on his face, "and your second wish?"
"Tie the Indian to my back", the Pakistani answers. |
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A japanese couple have illegitimate twins, what do they name them?
Answer: Jo Hua , So hua |
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A man and his wife were seeking a divorce at a local court. But the custody
of their child posed a problem.
The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had
brought the child into this world, she should retain custody.
The man also wanted custody of his child. The judge asked for his side of
the story too.
After a long moment of silence, the man rose from his chair and argued,
'Your Honour, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Pepsi comes
out, does the Pepsi belong to me or to the machine?'
Hai koi jawaab???
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| TEACHER: Why are you late? WEBSTER: Because of the sign. TEACHER: What sign? WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow." |
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A blowhard Air Force major was promoted to colonel and received a brand-new
office. His first morning behind the desk, an airman knocked on the door and
asked to speak to him. After telling him to come in, the colonel felt an
urge to impress the young airman, so he picked up his phone and said, "Yes,
General, I'll get that to the President immediately. Goodbye, sir."
Then, turning to the airman, he barked, "Now what do you want?"
"Nothing important," the airman said, "I just came to install the
telephone." |
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Doctor, doctor, will i be able to play the viloin after the operation?
'Yes, ofcourse..''Great! I never could before!' |
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When I take a long time, I am slow.
When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough.
When I don't do it, I am lazy.
When my boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.
When I do it without being told, I'm trying to be smart.
When my boss does the same, that is initiative.
When I please my boss, that's brown-nosing.
When my boss pleases his boss, that's co-operating.
When I do good, my boss never remembers.
When I do wrong, he never forgets. |
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A man walks into the doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his
nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.'Whats the matter with me?' he asks the doctor,The doctor replies 'Youre not eating properly.'
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All I Need is a Miracle
A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a genie`s lamp. She picked it up and rubbed it. Lo-and-behold a genie appeared. The amazed woman asked if she got three wishes.
The Genie said, "Nope. Due to inflation, constant downsizing, low wages in third-world countries and fierce global competition, I can only grant you one wish. So, what`ll it be?"
The woman didn`t hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other."
The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Gadzooks, lady! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I`m good, but not THAT good! I don`t think it can be done. Make another wish."
The woman thought for a minute. She said, "Well, I`ve been trying to find the right husband. You know, one that`s considerate and fun, likes to cook and helps with the housecleaning, has a great sense of humor and gets along with my family, doesn`t watch sports all the time and is faithful. That`s what I wish for. A good mate."
The Genie let out a long sigh and said, "Let me see that map again." |
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