Jeeto and Preeto were having one of those girl to girl talks......

Preeto, "You're lucky that you don't have to put up with men having sex with you. I have to put up with Banta... and there's no telling where he last had his pecker."

Jeeto responded, "Just because I am esthetically challenged, doesn't mean I don't have to fight off unwelcome sexual advances."

Preeto asks, "Well how do you deal with the problem?"

Jeeto says, "Whenever I feel that a guy's getting ready to make a pass me, I muster all my might and squeeze out the loudest, nastiest fart I can."

Well, that night, Banta was already in bed with the lights out when Preeto headed to bed. She could hear him start to stir, and knew that he would be wanting some action. She had been saving her farts all day, and was ready for him.....so, she tensed up her butt cheeks and forced out the most disgusting sounding fart you could imagine.

Banta rolls over and asks, "That's you Jeeto ?"

One evening Santa and Banta are sitting in the bar getting drunk. Banta turns to Santa and asks, "When do you suppose those girls are gonna make out with us?"

Santa says, "Dunno, but I'm drunk enough. Let's go and ask them!"

So off they go to the apartment where Banta knocks on the door. Rosa answers and says, "Well, Santa and Banta, come on in!"

Banta no more than gets in the door when he says, "We just come to find out when you girls are gonna make out with us."

Rosa is really upset by this and throws them both out, slamming the door on them. Banta is persistent and knocks on the door again.

Rosa isn't stupid. She knows it's Banta and says, "Banta if you are gonna be so forward, you'll have to talk through the keyhole."

So Banta bends to the keyhole and asks, "When you girls gonna make out with us?"

Rosa is really upset now. She drops her pants, backs up to the keyhole, and breaks wind.

As Banta is backing up and shaking his head, Santa asks, "Well Banta, what did she say?"

Banta says, "Well, I think she said .. FFFFfffffrrriiddaay y but her breath is so bad, I'm not asking again."

A man was brought in to the hospital intensive care ward, put in a bed, tubes coming out everywhere. A week later, another man was admitted, in a similar condition.

Both lay there, machines pinging, tubes poking etc. a couple more weeks before one of them had the strength to raise his hand and point to himself and say, "Bengali."

The other patient signaled he had heard, raised his own hand, and said, "Punjabi."

This act tired them out so badly it was a week before the first summoned up the strength to say, "Calcutta."

Other replied in a weedy frail voice, "Ludhiana."

Once more, the strain was too much for them both and they passed out. Days passed before the first patient managed to again point to himself and say, "Asit."

Replied the other, "Santa."

A few hours later, Asit managed to point to himself again and rasp out weakly, "Cancer."

Santa responded, "Sagittarius."